Absence of Desire is Death

I wrote this down a couple of months ago: happiness is the absence of desire. Derivative of one of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, I read it again today and decided it was wrong, dead wrong.

My point of view then was like waiting for a huge wave to come on shore. I thought if I held onto enough apathy about things I could not be sad or hurt. But I couldn’t even begin to be apathetic about life and happiness found me. When life should be crushing in on me, I’m happy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in denial. I’m scared to death but with a serenity that comes from somewhere else.

Now, when I close my eyes at night, happiness is the last thing I see before I fall asleep. Happiness is the first thing that meets my eyes when I wake even before I open them.

Focusing on that happiness keeps me going day after day. It makes me float into the clouds when things try to weigh me down. It makes me strong when blows come too close together. It makes me giddy with laughter when the tears threaten. It makes me feel everything will be okay when I need it most.

Absence of desire is death. Living is not just about having passion, but expressing it. Being able to express it is happiness.