In an almost perfect moment of inner reflection, perspective can be gained and empathy can swallow me whole. Considering physical attraction between men and women recently, I captured what I think is a small glimpse of women from a man’s point of view. In that moment, I gained an immense amount of appreciation for what must be an unbelievable amount of discipline and self-control by men. Let me explain.
First, a little confession. I caught myself looking at the beautiful physique of a man last week. It wasn’t the first time because I’m not dead, but I didn’t just look either. I gazed, stared and otherwise fully appreciated what my eyes took in from twenty feet away. I know it is human nature and a good indicator that my inferior temporal cortex works very well. This man was fully clothed. No skin showing other than his hands, neck and head. This stranger wasn’t dressed to the nines and was just walking by me.
I remembered this when I wondered if a particular outfit I wanted to throw together was appropriate to wear to work. We can get a bit casual at an ad agency, but it’s never a good idea to look like you’re going out to the club when you want to keep conversations on a friendly and professional level. But I wondered, what if people dressed like that in the workplace? Would natural physical attraction get in the way of trying to get work done?
I took it a step further. If guys I work with looked like the guy I caught myself ogling last week and wore shorts and tank tops, how difficult would it be to concentrate? Holy Hello! It would be nigh impossible!
Flipping that perspective, I wondered how difficult it would be for the guys to work with attractive women wearing short skirts, tight pants, and showing bare shoulders and cleavage. A small window opened in that moment and flooded me with a light of understanding. Then empathy overcame me. Oh, god, how do they do it! How do they not ogle? How do they not stare? How do they concentrate, stay professional and not get slapped every day?!?!
Ladies, do you realize how unfair this is to men? No? Then do you realize what we're missing out on every day when men wear three times the clothing we do? Humph! Can the fashionistas of the world work on making skirts in vogue for men?
My sympathies to all men that deal with their perfectly natural, perfectly human, perfectly perfect attraction to the opposite sex every day. I understand now and am thoroughly impressed. Be truthful and real. Our fellow humans are the most beautiful things we set our eyes on every day.
**Excerpt from my unpublished “The Ugly, Ugly Truth” about things we think and feel but don’t tell anyone.