A little over three years ago I emerged from a second bout of depression. The first time was post partum in 2000. I quit my anti-depressant cold-turkey, just like they tell you not to. Yeah, it wasn’t the best decision of my life, but I got through the physiological side effects all by myself.
Why did I quit and how did I get through the depression and anxiety without medicine? Intestinal fortitude. I decided to get over myself. I heard this phrase again recently and I flashed back to the decision of doing it for myself.
I had dissected, evaluated and relived all the reasons why I was depressed to the point I was sick of myself. I was done. I decided no more excuses and definitely never to give control and power to my fears and anxiety ever again. It took less than a 60-second conversation with myself, and I was cured. It was a beautiful moment. Three weeks of drug withdrawal were a little more involved but I feel like a real survivor. It was exactly three years ago this weekend that I was finally over it.
Since then, I have lived through two awful life experiences and I’m working on a third, but no depression. I have met each moment head-on with my chin up in defiance. But, I haven’t done it alone. So many people have been an inspiration for me to be the better version of myself. Depression closes you off from all of them when you need them the most.
The more I let people into my life and the more I involve myself with others, the easier life is overall. I realize my struggles are similar to others; my disappointments and anxieties are shared by many. I don’t feel alone and different. Life really is too short to give in to moments of self-pity, self-doubt and self-denial. As one of the best quotes from one of my favorite movies says, “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Everyone has to decide for themselves.
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